We usually think that one of the most effective ways to model the behaviour of our children or to console them is to promise them something in return. Not that it’s a bad thing but to what extent do we often keep our promises? If we fail to give this a deep thought, we will have to face serious consequences. When you fail to keep the promises you made to your children, on a superficial level, you would, of course, find disappointment. However, you need to keep in mind that some waters run deep. As a matter of fact, it has been stated by many psychologists that the impact of false promises goes beyond mere disappointment; it shatters the trust our children have in us and give them the idea that it is okay for people to be careless with their words. This, in return, would have a negative impact on their character development. So, it is important to note here that it is quite wrong on your part to make promises to your children that you cannot fulfil, especially if they are beyond your financial ability. If you do not have the capacity to provide, help your children understand that you will do your best but you can’t help it if it’s beyond your ability. After all, one of the most important lessons you can teach your children is to adapt to all kinds of situations and to compromise when necessary. So, give your words a deep thought before they escape your lips as a promise; you should give your children the impression that your words are reliable and accurate. If you fail to do so, your children will grow up to be one of those people with a loose tongue and we all know very well the damage it can bring. Are you wondering how to do that exactly? Well, the answer is simple, yet complicated- find your own way to console your children. After all, they’re connected to you on an emotional level; you just have to find the right way. Now that we know how promises should be handled, let’s talk about orders. Should they be handled any different? Or, are orders and promises the same thing on a certain level? As a matter of fact, there isn’t much difference between an order and a promise. If you order your children to do something, you need to make sure that they do it because, once again, they need to realize that your words carry weight. If they fail to follow what you said, you should not be lenient and tell them it’s alright because that will give then the impression that orders can be compromised on. It’s important to note here that you are not doing them a favour by excusing them. Rather, it only proves that you are guiding them down a wrong path. After all, roads leads on to roads and things will go out of hand before you realize. So, it is your duty to help them understand that they should never nullify their own words. For example, if you ask your son to clean his room every morning and if he fails to do it one day, you need to make sure that he does it the next day. If he fails to do it on the second day, make sure he does it on the third day. No matter what, you should uphold your order this year and you should uphold it the next year. If your words count for one thing, they should count for a hundred things. However, let me also point out that whatever way you choose to discipline your children should be innovative and gentle because there is a great possibility that your children might end up thinking they were abused as kids if you decide to be too harsh on them and we all know how many Indian parents just can’t help it sometimes. Speaking of discipline, many Indian parents do need to employ less harsher but effective methods of discipline. For example, time-outs can help your children not only when they’re kids but they also teach your children the easy way to calm down when they’re adults and we know how easy it is for adults to lash out in some situations. In a nutshell, you need to make sure that every promise that you make is realized and every order is being carried out by your children that they may grow up to be men and women of words that carry weight.
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