Challenges in Parent and teacher communication in today’s high stressed education scenario

Thousands of years ago, Eklavya cut his thumb and gave it to sage Dronacharya as guru dakshina. This proves how the cult of teachers was well entrenched in our country. The ‘guru’, whose concern was the welfare of students, had supreme powers. Cut to circa 2019,what we have is the culture of aggressive parenting with serious ramifications on parent- teacher communication. The world has moved on from complete surrender to a teacher’s vision to ‘my child is superstar’ syndrome. Don’t get me wrong; most of the parents are supportive and are keen to work with teachers for the sake of their children but there is a small tribe of parents who think they are entitled to behave rudely with teachers and they have no qualms in showing utter lack of respect for them. The question that comes to the mind is ‘why has this come to pass?’ Not long ago, the wisest man in the village was the local teacher. He had the villagers’ trust- he read their posts, counselled them and was admired to a great degree. As times changed and people started getting more and more educated, they witnessed an economic prosperity and had access to healthcare, education and worldly amenities for a comfortable life which their parents never had. It made people confident and more aware about what’s happening in the world. The general assumption is that education makes one wise. However, it happens to be the opposite in this case! Having a successful career and a string of degrees has led to a sense of entitlement among parents- they have certain demands on how teachers should behave with their children. Admittedly, there is a general apathy with regard to investment in the development of teachers by our society, policy makers and educational institutions. People have the misconception that teachers hardly work and have so many holidays. So, they resent this break the teachers have, without realizing that teachers have to stay back after school hours to check work books, set question papers and do other administration- related work that the management expects them to do. When we were kids and the class teacher happened to complain about us, we were in for double bonanza of scolding, both at school and home. These days, the teachers are not even allowed to reprimand a child, forget disciplining, which is not a bad thing, given the abuse that has taken place over all these years in the name of disciplining. This has resulted in parents being overprotective and ready to take up arms at the slightest whiff of admonishment. Understandably, parents are worried a lot these days and for good reasons, but there is a need to remember that bad people are there in every profession and that a mixture of maturity and foresight is the need of the hour to maintaining healthy parent- teacher communication for the students’ benefit. It is in this view point that parents need to support teachers in constructively improving their children’s behavior instead of pointing it out that teachers are always in the wrong for identifying gaps in their wards' learning. However, having said this, it is important to note that there is another other side to the story – it is true that there is a great deal of lack in training teachers adequately and that the teaching methodologies are not as effective as one can expect from a school of reasonable stature that charges hefty fee. Unfortunately, the reality of education sector is awful-there are many teachers who are not paid what they deserve but are expected to work for longer hours; we tend to salute the king but forget to honor the king’s maker. In this kind of scenario, the least a parent can do is treat teachers with the respect they deserve. As a parent, you are well within your rights to identify teachers who are not doing a good job and point it out to the management, but this does not give you the license to behave unprofessionally. Unfortunately, in the eyes of many parents, the exorbitant fee structures have made schools vendors for learning and teachers, service providers. In this scenario, the parent views the fee as an investment for the child’s future and if they are not happy with the interest, they fear that the investment made was a bad decision on their part. This leads to aggressive parental approach to teachers. Fortunately, there are ways to handle this situation and have a smooth relationship with your child’s teacher # Rule 1 Do not call the teacher names in front of your child- this diminishes a teacher’s authority in the eyes of your child and it is proven to be counter-productive. #Rule 2 Resist the temptation to go directly to the school principal in case of any grievance by superseding the class teacher’s authority. The ideal approach would be to first try talking to the teacher and only if you are unable to receive a resolution, escalate it to the next level. #Rule 3 Please refrain from contradicting your child’s teacher in front of his/her student. This leads the children to believe that it is acceptable to disrespect teachers and they start to view them from the narrow prism of a parent’s perspective. #Rule 4 Be cordial and respectful towards teachers even if you are, rightly or wrongly, not subscribing to their viewpoint. Your child is watching you and will imbibe views and approach methods. #Rule 5 It is okay to have complaints but please address them in a respectful manner and if parents feel that no action has been made, they are well within their rights to escalate the matter to the next level either through a telephone call or a letter. Owing to our culture, we have always revered our teachers; we have always shown them love, respect and enormous adulation. However, in these past few years, a sense of entitlement has crept upon parents and that started to manifest itself in the behavior of the youth. It is unbelievable how they feel entitled to every good thing in life by just existing! They fail to realist that that success comes at the cost of hard work, perseverance and sacrifice and that this process does not stop after they procure a gleaming degree. Self-improvement is a continuous process and it never stops. As a society, we need to stop this malaise and push our children to take responsibility for their actions as they grow older. They need to know that bad behavior has consequences and that everyone is on the same page. Parents need to remember that teachers shape the citizens of tomorrow and they need to work with them and the school management for that to happen. We cannot keep protecting our children from every adversity and keep fighting their battles, or they will end up losing in the war of life. A strong teacher equals a competent and confident student.